


bird's eye view

by prettyhearse



Series: maps [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Ableism, F/F, Gen, Pre-Canon, basically how rose and pearl met, may slightly diverge from canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-10 22:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4410815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyhearse/pseuds/prettyhearse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearls are made to please and to serve.</p><p>(prequel to 'what is simple and true', can work as a stand alone though)</p><p>- retired fic, diverged from canon completely -</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1 - the well

**Author's Note:**

> idk i just wanted to write more pearl and sorta... explore pearls in general. might be disproved soon, but oh well. in this fic, pearl is coded as being autistic, so that's where the ableism thing comes in, so warning for that. there's nothing too extreme, but just to be safe. enjoy!

Pearls are made to please and to serve.

They are blank databanks, mass produced to serve as technicians, their ability to retain information and dexterous, perfectionist ways making them excellent at fixing and building machinery. They do as exactly as they are told, never disobeying or asking questions. The perfect workforce.

Pearls are not made to be warriors, or to even be on the battlefield, their inability to make quick decisions on the spot or to think and act for themselves making them useless as fighters. Instead they are kept grouped together with similar gems, designing weapons, ships and new technology.

The rare, more independent pearls are made personal assistants, but few make it past being technicians, and none make it past being a personal assistant.

Pearls are made to please and to serve, to be obedient and unquestioning, to be perfect and proper.

Pearl #2035 is none of these things.

When her gem is first harvested, the defect is unnoticeable. She’s one of the last naturally-forming pearls to be harvested from the artificial salt water reservoir. Her gem is shiny, smooth and rounded, like any other pearl. The defect isn’t that obvious when she forms her first projection. Her first form looks awkward, lanky and clumsy, unlike that of the other pearls, but it isn’t anything too concerning. Some gems take longer perfecting their form than others.

But when she begins her training, the defect is painfully obvious. Her internal, mental, _unfixable_ defect. A defect like hers isn’t unheard of, but it’s rare, especially in pearls. Numbers are too desperately low to crush her, and Blue Topaz, the gem in charge of dealing with defects, speculates she may be one of the more independent pearls that could be a personal assistant once they get her defects under control.

Pearl #2035 can’t understand what they mean when they tell her she’s defective. To her, it’s only normal to avoid making eye contact when she talks, to speak even when no one asked her too. She doesn’t understand why they scold her for being too loud or asking too many questions. She wants to learn more about gem history and her heritage, what’s wrong with just asking? She can’t understand why her mentors scold her when she won’t stop fidgeting in her seat, or why they sharply and firmly tell her to stop talking when she gives answers they deem ‘too long’. It doesn’t make any sense to her. She’s a pearl, she’s _supposed_ to retain information. What’s the point in remembering it all if no one wants to hear her when she talks about it?

But she soons learns that no one wants to hear what she’s learned about gem history or weapons. The threats of termination are enough to scare her into keeping her voice soft and quiet and her head down. She waits until her teachers’ backs are turned before she starts shaking her leg or playing with her hands, scared of being caught and punished again. She gives the simple one word answers they ask for and forces herself to look them in the eye. The other gems make her painfully aware of her defect. Gems come and go, none of them staying in training as long as her, and each batch of young gems is as bad as the last. No matter how hard she tries to act ‘normal’, they always notice she’s defective and torment her for it.

She tries to focus on mastering her gem abilities and working with coding and machinery to ignore them. Eventually she’s called back to Blue Topaz’s office. She says Pearl #2035 has been making great progress and that she’s ready to be sent off-planet for her first real job as a technician, and she’s relieved that she’s finally going somewhere new.

Her relief is short-lived, however. She starts to feel more and more flustered as she’s pushed on to the ship taking her to her new post, feeling anxious as she sees how crowded it is. She sits down between two other gems, sitting still and silent. The noise around her and the sheer amount of gems is enough to make her leg start shaking again. She squeezes her eyes shut, her mouth going dry as she tries to discreetly rock herself to calm down.

“Hey, defect!” a supervisor sitting across from her yells, “Calm down and sit still. Wouldn’t want you to infect the rest of us.”

The gems around her snigger and she hangs her head in shame, blushing. Part of her wants to explain her defect isn’t contagious, but she remembers what happened the last time she did that and it’s enough to keep her quiet for the rest of the trip. She stares at the ground, wishing she were somewhere else, back on Homeworld, back in training, even Blue Topaz’s office. Anywhere but this loud, overcrowded ship.

The planet isn’t much better. It’s dark and cold, the sky blocked out by light pollution. She spends most of her time in an old warehouse, just as noisy and crowded as the ship. She isn’t used to running around, having orders barked at her. The machines she has to fix and work on are older and different from the more modern test ones she practised on in training. Her superiors are no better either, impatiently pushing her around, only referring to her as ‘defect’. She’s not Pearl #2035, or even just Pearl, she’s just ‘defect’.

It starts to wear on her, and all it takes is one of her superiors reprimanding her for using the wrong screws on a display unit to make her break down. Everything starts to go blurry as her eyes fill with tears. She drops to the floor and curls up in a ball, head between her knees. She lays there sobbing quietly, ignoring the muffled voice of her superior ordering her to stand up, until she feels something sharp pierce her side and she’s forced back into her gem.

* * *

 

When Pearl reforms, she’s lying in a medical bay. She isn’t sure how long she’s been gone or where she is. There’s a gem standing near her, and once she’s settled into her new form, they put their hand on her shoulder and begin silently steering her down endless hallways. She begins to recognise where she is once they turn what must be the fiftieth corner and she sees the door to Blue Topaz’s office at the end of the hall.

She starts to slow down as her legs buckle beneath her in fear, but the other gem just sighs and pushes her forward, through the office door.

Blue Topaz stares up at her with her usual blank expression, gesturing towards the chair across from her, inviting her to sit down. There’s another blue gem standing beside Blue Topaz, eying Pearl curiously. She quickly sits down and bows her head, staring at the tiled floor as the door shuts behind her.

“Pearl #2035,” Blue Topaz says in a tired voice, tapping at the screen on her desk. “I’m sure you know why you’re here. _Again_. Care to explain for yourself?”

Pearl swallows, not shifting her gaze from the floor, “I… I failed to correctly carry out one of my assigned tasks.”

“Correct, and what did you do when you were reprimanded for your failure?”

“I broke down.”

“Look at me,” Blue Topaz says, leaning across the desk and looking Pearl right in the eyes, a strained smile on her face, “Remind me, what is a pearl’s purpose?”

“To please and to serve.”

“Good, and tell me, is it becoming of a pearl to lay on the floor, crying, when she is chastised for failing to do her job?”

“No,” Pearl says in quiet voice, staring at the wall behind her.

“And what do we do to gems who continue to act inappropriately?” Blue Topaz’s smile grows as her eyes narrow.

“They are… t-terminated,” Pearl whispers, feeling herself start to shake. They’re going to kill her. They’re going to crush her useless, defective gem to dust. She knows it will be painless, she’ll be forced back into her gem again, then she’ll be smashed, but it terrifies her. She doesn’t want to die. Part of her wants to break down again, part of her wants to stand up and make a run for it, but she wills herself to sit still as Blue Topaz begins to speak again.

“Yes, they are. In most cases, you would be terminated. That kind of behaviour is unacceptable. However, Larimar here has offered to make you her assistant,” she gestures towards the gem standing next to her, “You will serve her and she will try to fix you to the best of her ability. I sincerely hope you understand this is the last time I want to see you here.”

Pearl nods.

“Very well then. Larimar will take you to your new post.”

* * *

 

Larimar is an important gem, part of the council in control of the colonization of other planets. She works in the head offices in Homeworld’s capital city, a place Pearl has only heard about and seen pictures of. It’s much bigger and more populated than her lessons had led her to believe, but she doesn’t have to worry about it too much. She spends most of her time inside at Larimar’s side, and the offices are much quieter and emptier than the streets.

She still likes to look out at the city in between running errands, pressing herself against the windows and staring out at the busy streets and tall buildings. It amazes her to see so many different gems just walking around, no set purpose, just free to walk around and do as they please. She’s so used to being shoved into overcrowded rooms filled with similar gems, stuck doing the same job and forbidden from leaving without permission. She still doesn’t have much freedom even now, but just being able to see other gems like that makes her feel less confined.

She does her best to try and impress Larimar. She wants her to be proud of her like the other gems on the council are proud of their assistants. Pearl tries to act as normal as she can, but not too normal, because Larimar did say she picked Pearl as an assistant because she wanted a quirky gem with a bit more personality.

Larimar seems to find her ‘quirkiness’ endearing at first, gently correcting her when she talks too much or her voice is too loud, only tutting when she sees her fidget. But eventually she starts to get impatient, her gentle corrections and tuts turning to sharp scolds and rough grabs.  Pearl tries to make up for it by working extra hard, taking on tasks she wasn’t even assigned, but she can feel Larimar’s patience is wearing thin, and it terrifies her. She doesn’t show Pearl off like a prized pet like the other gems do with their assistants. She keeps her hidden away in her office, making her stand a few feet behind her if they ever have to leave. She’s ashamed of her, and Pearl doesn’t blame her. It’s only a matter of time before she’s sent back to Blue Topaz and terminated.

One day Larimar sits her down with a solemn look on her face, and Pearl is almost certain this is it. This is the day she’ll tell her she can’t work for her any more. Then she’ll be on her way to get crushed. But before she can start panicking, Larimar brings up a screen in front of her.

“Alright, Pearl. I’m giving you one last chance to prove yourself to me tonight,” Larimar says, running her hands through her hair, “I’m hosting a meeting to discuss setting up kindergartens on the planets discovered in Crystal System 14. This is an extremely important meeting. Yellow Diamond herself is going to be there so you must be on your best behaviour.”

Pearl shivers in her seat. She’s met a lot of important gems while working with Larimar, but she hadn’t even _seen_ a _Diamond_.

“This is the last chance I’m giving you before I send you back to Blue Topaz. Keep your mouth shut, and I don’t want to see any of that leg shaking you do. You are to be proper and perfect, like the Pearl you were made to be.”

Pearl nods and sits up straight as Larimar begins explaining what she’ll have to do, handing her three memory sticks and giving her a rundown of the meeting. As they leave to set up the meeting room, Pearl tries to practice keeping calm and staying still. It can’t be that hard to act normal, especially when her life depends on it.

She stands beside Larimar when she sits down at the top of the table, back straight and hands behind her back, keeping her head bowed as gems begin to file into the room. She doesn’t realise how many gems are there until she looks up and sees that every seat at the long table has been filled. It makes her nervous, even though none are looking at her, except for one. She’s one of the bigger gems, with massive pink hair and these gorgeous brown eyes that stare at Pearl peculiarly. When she sees Pearl staring back she flashes her a small, kind smile, and Pearl blushes and looks away.

She continues staring at the floor, feeling flustered, discreetly playing with her fingers behind her back, focusing so much on trying to stay still and looking composed that she doesn’t notice when Larimar asks her to hand her one of the memory sticks. She jumps and nearly shrieks when she grabs her arm and hisses at her to give her the memory stick, clumsily fumbling through her pockets to get it for her.

Her face heats up as she notices that everyone is staring at her, some shaking their heads in disapproval.

“Is that the defective one you’ve been looking after?” a gem asks, raising an eyebrow as she looks Pearl up and down.

Larimar sighs and nods as she plugs the stick in the display unit, “Yes, she’s a bit… ditzy… Anyways, as I was saying, we could get more gems to the planets in the Hydra Supercluster if we use ship model #786, however that model isn’t appropriate for reaching the planets with organic life in the cluster near by...”

Pearl focuses on Larimar’s screen to try and ignore the stares. From what she can see they’re trying to figure the right model of ship to use to get the most gems to those organic planets, but they aren’t sure which one is the easiest and cheapest to make. She remembers learning about all the different models of ships when she was much younger, and it was always something that interested her. She'd even worked on a lot of ships on the last planet she worked on.

She frowns in concentration as she scans her mind for something, anything, she can say that might help to make up for her slip up.

“Model #958!” she says suddenly, a small grin on her face, “It can’t fit as many gems as most models, but it’s easy enough to build and it can withstand the conditions of the cluster the planets are located in! Even though you wouldn’t be able to send as many gems in one ship, their simple structure means many could be built, mass produced, even, and sent to make up for that! And…”

She trails off when she notices the gems staring at her in shock. Larimar looks furious and she quickly bows her head, letting out a quiet, “Sorry…”

“She’s right,” a gem says, breaking the silence. Pearl looks up and sees it’s the pink-haired gem that smiled at her. “We have the numbers to build enough ships in that model, building would hopefully be finished before the end of this century… And by that time enough gems will have been produced to send off and start setting up the kindergartens.”

The gem looks at her and gives her another comforting smile. She nods slightly in response and looks down again, trying to pretend the whole room isn't still staring at her. She keeps her head down for the rest of the meeting, focusing more on calming herself rather than what is being said.

She keeps her head down until the last gem has left the room and it’s just her and Larimar. She isn’t sure how she’s going to react, but she can just hope she isn’t too angry.

“Pearl,” Larimar sighs as she stands, staring at her with a frown, “How old are you?”

The question throws her off, “Um… I was-”

“Because you’d think you were only harvested yesterday with how ridiculous you just acted,” Larimar spits, grabbing her by the shoulders. “Zoning out, rocking, speaking out of turn?! Is that how any gem is supposed to act?!”

Pearl stares at her with wide eyes. She hadn’t even realised she’d been rocking herself. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“You made a complete fool of me! Thinking your misinformed opinion matters... There's a reason defects like you don't make it on to councils! You should be ashamed. I knew you were defective but I had no idea you were this bad.”

Pearl whimpers as she’s shoved back onto the table.

“I don’t know what I was thinking taking on such a useless, broken gem!” Larimar lets out a frustrated groan, burying her face in her hands and turning her back on Pearl, “You’ll stay in this room until someone comes back to get you, understand?! I’m not going to baby a defect like you anymore!”

Pearl watches as she storms out of the room, not daring to move until the door closes behind her. She slowly slides to the floor, curling up and starting to cry. She’s going to die. She completely ruined her last chance and now she’s going to die. She wonders if they’ll crush her while she’s still conscious just to punish her for being so bad, and she wonders if she deserves it.

She isn’t sure how long she’s been lying there crying when she hears the door open. She tenses up, covering her mouth with her hands to try and quieten herself, assuming whoever it was is here to take her away to be crushed. But she isn’t grabbed and dragged to her feet, instead a gentle hand rests on her shoulder and she hears a soft voice shushing her.

She slowly uncurls herself and looks up, seeing the pink-haired gem from earlier kneeling beside her, patting her back.

“Are you alright?” she asks, offering Pearl her hand.

Pearl sniffs and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, nodding. She cautiously takes the gem’s outstretched hand and lets her pull her to her feet and sit her down in a nearby seat.

“It’s Pearl, isn’t it?” she asks, still kneeling in front of her, stroking her arms comfortingly. Pearl just nods, not trusting herself to speak. She still feels a lump in her throat, and tears still continue to roll down her cheeks.

“Nice to meet you, Pearl! I’m Rose Quartz, but you may call me Rose if you want.”

Pearl doesn’t say anything. Rose’s kindness is enough to set her off sobbing again. She hides her face in her hands and weeps, scared that Rose will start to get impatient and scold her, but she doesn’t. She stays there holding her until she’s stopped crying, wiping her eyes with her soft hands when she’s finished.

“A-Are they going t-to kill me?” Pearl asks, clutching at Rose’s hands desperately.

Rose gives her a confused look, “Why would they do that?”

“This was m-my last chance! Now they’re going to… to terminate me!”

“No they won’t…”

Pearl shakes her head, “Yes they will. I-I disrupted the meeting. I deserve it.”

Rose looks at her and frowns. “No you don't... Pearl… can you stay here for a while, while I go and talk to someone?”

Pearl nods.

“Blue Topaz is the one looking after you, correct?”

“Yes.”

Rose stands up, patting Pearl’s head gently, “Right. You stay here, until someone comes to get you. I’ll have a talk with Blue Topaz.”

“Okay, thank you,” Pearl says, not bothering to argue that no amount of talking will change her mind, watching as she quickly leaves the room. Once she’s gone, Pearl brings her knees up to her chest and rests her head on them. She doubts this Rose Quartz can change anyone’s mind, but she’s grateful that she was so nice to her. She still can’t understand why she was so kind to her, but she wishes she was still here.

Even though she knows it’s unlikely Rose can save her from being terminated, that doesn’t stop her from sitting there, praying she can, as she waits for someone to come and take her away.

* * *

 

She isn’t sure how long it is before an escort arrives. There's no clock in the meeting room and she was too scared to turn anything on. She’s brought down to an office on the first floor and sat outside, then she’s left alone again.

She can hear Blue Topaz’s harsh voice through the wall and it makes her heart race when she realises how serious it must be if she traveled out here just for Pearl. She hears Larimar’s voice next and then another voice- Rose Quartz’s voice. She looks around to see if anyone is watching, and when she’s certain she’s alone, she presses herself up against the wall so she can hear them better.

“That gem needs crushing, not nurturing!” she hears Larimar snap.

“We have given her more chances than we give most defects. Most don’t even make it past training,” Blue Topaz says, “It isn’t fair to give her yet another chance after all these slip ups-”

“But I see so much potential in her!” Rose interrupts, “Can’t you just give her one more chance? Maybe if we take a different approach to dealing with defective gems we might be able to help them. Look at it like an experiment.”

She listens as the gems argue back and forth, heart racing, until she hears footsteps approaching the door and she quickly settles back into her seat.

“You may come in,” Rose says, peeking her head around the door.

Pearl stands to her feet and steps in timidly with her head bowed, not looking up at any of the gems.

“I assume you know exactly why you’re here,” Blue Topaz says with an exhausted sigh, “You’ve once again displayed behaviour unbecoming of a gem.”

Pearl doesn’t reply.

“You really should be terminated, but Rose Quartz here has somehow taken pity on you. You’re incredibly lucky, I hope you’re aware of that.”

She hears Larimar sigh.

“Pearl, look up at me,” Blue Topaz snaps, “Listen to me carefully when I say this; this is your last chance. Rose Quartz has offered to make you her new assistant and to attempt to fix this... awful defect of yours. If you fail to follow her orders, you _will_ be terminated, mark my words. Do you understand?”

“I understand,” Pearl says meekly.

“Then my work here is done,” says Blue Topaz, standing to her feet, “Rose Quartz will go through what she expects of you. Larimar and I will be off, if there’s nothing else you want to ask.”

Her and Rose say nothing.

Blue Topaz nods at them, opening the door and walking out briskly, Larimar following closely behind, glaring at Pearl before she leaves.

Once the door closes, Pearl lets out a small sigh of relief. “Thank you,” she whispers, turning towards Rose with a tiny smile.

“Don’t worry about it. I told you you wouldn’t be killed!”

“But… why?”

Rose pats Pearl’s shoulder and laughs, “Why what? Save you? Because I don’t think any gem deserves to be crushed, ‘defective’ or not. I also find you to be very interesting,” Rose pauses and stares at her with a serious expression, “You don’t mind working for me, do you?”

“Oh, no! Of course not! I’m so grateful that you’re doing this, I-I don’t deserve this at all!”

“Yes you do, Pearl,” Rose smiles at her, “ _My_ Pearl... Shall I show you where we’ll be working?”

Pearl nods and follows behind Rose as she leaves the office and takes her back upstairs. As she walks Rose gently takes her by the arm and pulls her forward a bit, so they’re walking beside each other. It makes Pearl feel giddy inside.  She almost can’t believe it’s all actually happening, but she decides not to dwell on it too much. She just hopes Rose doesn’t get tired of her like Larimar did.

****  
  
  
  



	2. 2 - whirlpool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aa i'm so sorry for the really long break!! i honestly only wanted this fic to be 2 parts like WISAT but i think it's almost betterr to split them up? and i don't want to keep people waiting, especially seeing as people enjoyed the first part so much! i'm back at school, so the next (and hopefully final) chapter might be a bit delayed, but hopefully not by too much! thank you all so much for your kind comments on the last chapter, it honestly means the world! i hope you like this one and as always, feed back is very much appreciated!

Before she met Rose Quartz, Pearl didn’t have friends. Gems, especially worker gems like her, were mostly forbidden from socialising or making friends, and training taught them that hard work came before everything else. Of course, that didn’t stop gems from talking amongst themselves and making close bonds in between shifts or when supervisors weren’t near, and most gems ended up making at least one friend where they were working.

 

Except Pearl.

 

She never made friends. No one wanted to talk to a _defect_ , let alone be friends with one. Most of her coworkers treated her like she was contagious, only talking to her if they absolutely had to, but she knew they talked _about_ her, and they never said anything nice.

 

The concept of having friends, or even having someone who cared about her even just a tiny bit was so alien to her, so much so that it takes her a while to get used to Rose being so nice to her. She doesn’t treat Pearl like a servant, or a pet, or an ‘asset’. She treats her like a friend from the moment she first steps into her office. Rose actually cares about her, and it’s a hard concept to grasp at first.

 

But Pearl is certain it’s because Rose just hasn’t realised how annoying and irritating she can be. She just pities her, because that’s the kind of gem Rose is. Pearl waits for Rose to get sick of her. She waits for her to snap like Larimar did, to lose her patience, for the pity to wear off.

 

She waits for the day Rose tells her to shut up, the day she grabs her or shoves her to stop her from fidgeting or yelling at her for getting files mixed up, the day she sends her back to Blue Topaz to be crushed, but it never comes.  

 

Weeks, months, then years go by, and Pearl is almost certain Rose isn’t capable of even raising her voice. She’s the most kind, patient gem Pearl has ever met and she can’t believe she’s actually real. She doesn’t scold Pearl for talking too much, instead she listens intently, with interest, never rolling her eyes and shushing her for giving too long of an answer like Larimar did.

 

She has casual conversations with her, talking to her about things that aren’t work related, and it’s so new to Pearl she doesn’t know what to do. She wasn’t taught how to talk about herself, her feelings, her interests, only that those weren’t important. She scans her mind for the right answer to Rose’s casual questions about how her day has been going, about her interests, stuttering out vague replies uncertainly, terrified of being reprimanded for giving the wrong answer. But Rose doesn’t seem to really mind, only giving her a worried look when she notices how nervous she gets when she asks her such things. She prefers to listen to Rose talk, and eventually Rose catches on to that.

 

Rose is very open with Pearl, which is another thing about her that she finds confusing. Larimar never told her anything, the only time she really talked to her was when she was barking orders at her or scolding her. She never said anything about herself or about her past. She had overheard her talking to gems she was friendly with, but around Pearl she never got too personal.

 

Rose is the exact opposite.

 

She leaves files marked ‘CLASSIFIED’ open on her screen for all the world to see as she casually talks about the Diamonds and other infamous gems as if Pearl knows them personally like her. When Pearl meekly tells her she finds history interesting, her face lights up, and she spends hours talking about things Pearl never read about during her training, things she’s certain Rose shouldn’t be telling her at all.

 

But as open as she is about her coworkers and how she used to work in the military during some of the greatest battles in gem history, it takes Pearl a while to figure out what her current job actually is. Rose avoids the topic of her specific career, only vaguely alluding to it, but Pearl is certain she has something to do with the council Larimar worked on.

 

Her job mostly remains a mystery to Pearl until one day she tells her that she needs her to travel off planet with her.

 

“I need you to come with me to check on some of the kindergartens we’ve built, Pearl,” she says to her, her voice unusually flat.

 

Pearl raises an eyebrow in confusion, “The kindergartens…?” Why would such an important gem like _Rose_ be going to a kindergarten? Pearl didn’t know too much about them, except that they were bleak, dark places, where only the lowest ranking of gems were made. She’d never met a kindergarten gem before, seeing as most never left the planet they were made on, and if they did, they never came back to Homeworld. Instead, they usually stayed working in their kindergarten, mass producing more gems to work with them and immediately crushing any that were defective like her, but it was rare for an artificially created gem to be defective, it was more common in naturally occurring gems like her.

 

“Yes, but we won’t be going far. We’ll just be checking up on the older ones nearby to see if the injectors need repairs or replacements.”

 

“But… why?” she asks, still wondering why a gem like Rose would be sent to such a bleak place to do a lowly job like that, but she immediately regrets it when Rose looks up at her and frowns. “S-Sorry! I was just-”

 

“It’s alright, Pearl,” Rose flashes her a weak smile, “Well, it’s my job, that’s why! Somebody has to do it.”

 

“But I thought… aren’t you one of the heads of the council Larimar worked on?”  
  


“I am, interstellar colonization _does_ involve the building and running of kindergartens, and I just happen to be in charge of that,” Rose gives her an odd look, “You don’t mind coming, do you?”

 

“No, of course not! Is there anything you need me to prepare?”

 

“I’ve sent you a general overview of the things we’ll need to document, but for the most part you have nothing to worry about,” Rose gives her a comforting, but forced smile, “We should be leaving in a few hours.”

 

Pearl smiles back at her nervously in response. While the thought of going to a different planet for the first time in years and getting away from Homeworld for a while was exciting, it terrified her too. She can still vividly remember her first time travelling off planet, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. She doesn’t want Rose of all gems to see her getting in a state or potentially having a meltdown over how loud or stuffy the ship could be, or from how different whatever planets they’d be visiting were.

 

She stays a nervous wreck even as Rose gently guides her up the steps of their ship, placing her hand on her shoulder and squeezing it reassuringly, and it makes her wonder how scared she must look if Rose is able to notice it. The ship itself isn’t as bad as the last one she was on. She familiar with the model, it’s smaller and more modern, practically empty in comparison to the first one she’d been on, built for only high-ranking gems to use. It makes her feel even more out of place. She shouldn’t be on a ship like this.

 

Rose leads her down a few small corridors and into a closed off room. Pearl gingerly steps in and briskly walks to the back corner, standing upright, head bowed. Rose chuckles and gently grabs her by the wrist, pulling her to sit down in the seat across from her.

 

“You didn’t think I’d really make you _stand_ for the whole trip, did you?”

 

Pearl gives her a bewildered look and quickly shakes her head as she quickly pulls the seat belt over her shoulder and fumbles with the diamond shaped buckle, blushing when Rose reaches over and fastens it for her.

 

“Is everything alright, Pearl?” Rose asks as she sits back, looking concerned, “You have travelled off planet before, right?”

 

Pearl nods, “Yes, I have, it’s just…” She looks down at her hands and sighs, “I find it a bit overwhelming. I know it’s immature, but-”

 

“Oh, it’s okay, it took me years to get used to it! I used to hate travelling.”

 

“Really?” Pearl asks in disbelief, “But I thought you used to travel all over the universe when you were a medic…”

 

“I did, but back when I was your age, the ships were awful, nothing like the ones we have today. They were mostly just metal containers with engines, so they weren’t the most comfortable things. Some gems were poofed from the sheer force of just taking off! It’s so strange thinking back on it now,” Rose smiles at her, “And to think of all the battles we managed to win off planet with our battered old ships, stuffed to the brim with gems and weapons, compared to what some of the other planets had...”

 

Pearl listens to Rose intently as she continues to talk about the older models, mesmerised. In training the older models of ships never came up, and they were taught that Homeworld has always been the most advanced society in terms of technology and space travel. It’s almost hard to believe that they used to be as primitive as Rose is describing them, and even though Rose isn’t the best when it comes to using the proper terminology, Pearl still gets sucked into her little stories.

 

She isn’t sure how long she’s been listening to Rose talk when Rose’s eye wander to the window behind her and light up. “Oh, we’re up already,” she says with a smirk.

 

Pearl frowns and swivels round in her chair, her eyes widening as she sees that they aren’t on Homeworld any more. The window is filled with star-studded darkness, and it’s breathtaking.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

 

Pearl can only nod in agreement.

 

“That’s another thing I love about the newer models! They have windows,” Rose unbuckles her seat belt and comes to stand beside Pearl, “You look as though you’ve never seen space before.”

 

“I haven’t… Well, not like this. Just in pictures,” Pearl unbuckles her own seatbelt and pulls herself to the edge of her seat so she’s closer to the window, “And the last ship I was on was just a shuttle container. It’s so… vast…”

 

Rose giggles, “Well, it is infinite space. Don’t they teach you about space? Or did they take it off the syllabus?”  
  
  
Pearl shakes her head, “They only taught us about the nearby planets and the crystal systems, but nothing else. I’d have liked to have learned more though,” she looks away from the window to look at Rose, “How much do we know about all this?”

 

“A lot, but I’m no expert,” Rose smiles awkwardly, “But I _did_ used to be close to with one of the head astronomers on Homeworld before she went off to some other galaxy a few years ago, so I know a bit about the stars.”

 

Pearl’s face lights up, “Could you tell me about them? Only if you want to, of course. I know you probably have better things to be doing now but-”

 

“Of course I’ll tell you!” Rose reaches down to playfully ruffle Pearl’s hair, “Just don’t quote me on any of this, my memory’s a bit fuzzy.”

 

Pearl absorbs everything Rose tells her like a sponge, muttering the names of all the different stars under her breath, not caring about how vague some of Rose’s facts and explanations are. She can’t help but feel disappointed when Rose has to leave her side to finish filling out some documents, but Rose lets her stay practically pressed up against the window, until the stars start to fade as the ship begins to descend.

 

The planet they land on is bleak and depressing, almost as bad as the first planet Pearl worked on. The ground is dry and desert-like, and as they walk towards the main kindergarten their footsteps kick up more dust, creating a haze around their legs. The sky is dark, blocked out by dust and light pollution from the artificial lights that cover the planet. Pearl stays close to Rose, keeping her head down as they make their way through the endless lines of towering incubators. It feels as if all the gems working the injectors are staring right at her and it makes her skin crawl.

 

A gem soon runs to greet them with a small bucket of cracked gems in hand, and Pearl quickly steps behind Rose as she approaches. “Ah, Rose Quartz! It’s nice to see you again. Sorry I’m late, there was a bit of an accident,” she says, shaking the bucket.

 

“Nevermind that, you’re here now, aren’t you?” Rose smiles at her, and then steps aside, turning to look at Pearl, “Pearl, this is Aquamarine, she’s the operations manager here.”

 

Pearl keeps her head bowed, feeling Aquamarine’s eyes scanning over her.

 

“Oh? I thought…,” Aquamarine clears her throat, “Rose, you _know_ we don’t take defects here…”

 

Rose forces a nervous laugh, “I’m not asking you to let her _work_ here! She’s my assistant. She’ll be the one documenting your report. Isn’t that right, Pearl?”

 

Pearl just nods, though she wonders how Aquamarine knew she was a defect. Rose always told her she didn’t look that defective.

 

“And I’ll see what I can do about those faulty injectors we sent you, and I’m supposing you need me to heal those gems too?”

 

“Yes, sorry about that. Our last medic was shattered when one of the incubators collapsed, but I put the details of that incident in the report,” Aquamarine hands her the bucket and then swivels around, calling to another gem, “Ametrine! Come here! Show Rose Quartz the injectors we can’t get working!”

 

Pearl watches as Ametrine, a very small gem, emerges from the dusty fog that hangs in the air and dashes towards them, and she wonders why the gem looks so terrified when Rose smiles and waves at her.

 

“Pearl, you’ll be going with Aquamarine to collect her report. I’ll see you back at the ship!” Rose gestures for Ametrine to lead the way, and then she’s off, quickly disappearing behind the dusty haze.

 

“Well, I suppose we should get going too,” Aquamarine says, “I’ll take you to my office, just follow me.”

 

Pearl is amazed that Aquamarine is able to navigate her way through the vast kindergarten, especially when it’s so hard to see where they’re going. Pearl has a hard time keeping up with her as she walks down each narrow path and turns each sharp corner quickly, as if she’s forgotten she has an outsider following behind her. It feels like they’ve been walking for hours when they eventually reach a more open area with a small, square metal building in the middle, which Pearl guesses is Aquamarine’s office.

 

There’s a few gems hanging around outside, leaning against the walls, but they quickly run off when they see the two approaching. Aquamarine tuts and shakes her head, reaching for the ring of keys attached to her belt and opening her office’s door.

 

The office is stuffy and almost suffocating. It’s dusty and cluttered, and Pearl can’t imagine it’s somewhere Aquamarine would spend most of her time. The piles of boxes and broken parts of injectors surrounding her small desk look as though they haven’t been touched for years, and even some of the things on her desk look like they haven’t been used in a while.

 

“You’re very quiet for a defect,” Aquamarine says as she sits down at her desk, “Usually I have a hard time getting them to shut up, but you haven’t said anything.”

 

“I-I’m not supposed to speak unless I’m spoken to,” Pearl responds, blushing and keeping her head bowed as she stands before her.

 

“Ah, I see Rose has trained you well then,” Aquamarine laughs, “I do have the report ready, it’s just my ‘assistant’ forgot to put it onto a disk for me and this computer’s been giving me trouble since day one. I should probably add that to the report too…”

 

She bangs on the top of the computer and sighs, tapping at the screen impatiently. Pearl looks up, wondering if she should ask if she needs any help, but she remembers how Larimar reacted when she did that and keeps her mouth shut. Her computer is a very old model, one Pearl hasn’t seen since she first started training and she isn’t even sure if she’d be able to fix it even if she was asked.

 

Aquamarine gives the computer a few more bashes until it boots up, and then slides a disk into it. “Knowing this computer we could be here all day,” she says with a sigh, “Especially seeing as the report is very long, so while we’re waiting, why don’t you tell me how a defect like you ended up working for a gem like Rose Quartz?”

 

“Oh, w-well, it’s a very long story and…” Pearl frowns and looks down, “How did you even know I’m defective?”

 

Aquamarine looks surprised, but answers her anyway, “Your gem’s an oval instead of a circle. Pearls are supposed to be circular, and you aren’t. It’s a tell-tale sign.”

 

“But I’m a naturally formed pearl? A saltwater, I’m not artificial or cultured. I thought it was normal for us to not be perfectly circular…”

 

Aquamarine smirks at her, “Ah, so you _do_ have a voice, interesting.”

 

Pearl’s face heats up and she quickly ducks her head again, “S-Sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that I-”

 

“It’s fine,” she says dismissively, tapping at her screen, “I didn’t know you were naturally forming, I’ve only met kindergarten pearls and cultured pearls, and I thought Homeworld shut down their natural pearl farms years ago, but clearly not. You don't even look that old. I also haven’t seen the projections of that many defects, seeing as we usually just crush any misshapen ones before they reform, but I _was_ right, wasn’t I?”

 

Pearl nods and doesn’t look up. She doesn’t say anything else, and neither does Aquamarine, but she can feel her staring at her as they wait.

 

Eventually Aquamarine takes the disk out and puts it into a case, tossing it at Pearl as she stands up to leave. Pearl clumsily catches it, startled, and then runs to keep up with her as she walks out. They walk back to the ship seems shorter than the walk there, and even though she must have been standing there for ages, Rose is waiting outside the ship for Pearl.

 

“My apologies, Rose Quartz, there was a problem with my computer so it took a bit longer than expected to get the report ready. You weren’t waiting for too long, were you?,” Aquamarine asks.

 

“Not at all,” Rose says, shaking her head as she takes the case from Pearl, “We’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible. I’ll mark you as an urgent case, so hopefully you’ll get a response before Yellow Diamond comes to check up on you. Oh, and I left the healed gems with Ametrine by the way.”

 

“Thank you,” Aquamarine nods at them both and turns to leave, “I should probably get going myself. I’m sure I’m needed somewhere. Thanks for your time.”

 

“It was good to see you again!” Rose calls after her as she briskly walks away, gesturing for Pearl to step on the ship ahead of her.

 

“You really didn’t have to wait for me,” Pearl whispers as she steps on to the ship and they begin walking down the hall to their quarters.

 

“I wasn’t waiting for that long, and I didn’t want you getting lost on the ship looking for me.”

 

Pearl gives her a grateful smile

 

She doesn’t turn to face the window as the ship takes off once they’re seated. Rose is too busy scanning over Aquamarine’s report to distract her from the unnerving sounds the ship makes as it takes off with a conversation, but she’s too occupied with her own thoughts to let it get to her. She can’t stop thinking about how lucky she is to not have to work in such an awful place. She thought the first planet she worked on was hell, but compared to that kindergarten, it seemed more like a safe haven. She can’t imagine what it’s like to have to work in such terrible conditions, and for once she’s grateful for her defect.

 

“Are you alright, Pearl?” Rose asks, looking up from her screen, snapping her out of her thoughts.

 

Pearl stares at her in confusion, dazed.

 

“You just looked so deep in thought, _scared_ almost. Is everything okay?”

 

“Yes! I'm fine. Sorry about that, it’s just...” Pearl gulps, “Um, are all the kindergartens like that?”

 

Rose frowns, “What do you mean?”

 

“Are they all that… that bleak and dangerous? I know it’s none of my business but it wasn’t very… pleasant.”

 

“Of course not,” Rose says, laughing, “All of the older ones are awful, and that planet is way past its expiration date at this point. I think it’s our oldest off-planet kindergartens, but we have no where else to send the gems, so we’re keeping them there for now. The newer ones are much nicer! Well, as nice as a kindergarten can be, but unfortunately all the ones we’ll be visiting on this trip are pretty depressing.”

 

“I see,” Pearl shifts in her seat and stares at the door behind Rose, “And I was also wondering… Was Aquamarine right when she said they don’t take defects?”

 

“Only the older ones don’t. It’s too dangerous and hectic for them, they’d probably crack from just the stress of working there. The older ones don’t have the time or resources to fi- I mean, _help_ them either. But the newer ones definitely do take them.”

 

Pearl gulps and tenses up.

 

“You don’t have to worry, Pearl!” Rose quickly adds, reaching over to pat her leg, “As long as you’re working with me, these little trips will be the only time you'll be seeing a kindergarten. And you’ll probably be with me for a very long time anyways.”

 

“Are you sure?” Pearl asks, wanting to be certain. She had guessed that her position as Rose’s assistant would be permanent, and after seeing the kindergarten, she prayed it was. Even if the newer ones were nice, she liked working for Rose. It was the nicest job she’d probably ever have.

 

“Yes! You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had work for me, I’d never just send you away like that.”  
  


Pearl’s eye light up and she smiles, trying to resist the urge to fling herself at Rose and hug her, “You really mean that?”  
  


“Of course I do,” Rose smiles back at her, “I’d never tell you any lies, Pearl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -


	3. 3 - index finger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goodd i have been so unwell these past few months, and still am, but i've been in the writing mood so i decided to try and get SOMETHING done. this chapter is pretty short, but i think it's a nice bit of pearlrose sweetness before i make things sad again. hoping to wrap this up next chapter! hope you enjoy (though imo its not my best work, i just felt bad making everyone wait so long lkdsldj)!

"Rose, why are we going to the library?" Pearl asks, hurrying to catch up with Rose, "I'm  _ supposed _ to be preparing the report on W8890's sixth facet and-"

 

"Don't worry about it," Rose laughs, patting Pearl's back, "You'll have plenty of time to finish your report when we get back, okay?"

 

"Okay... but can you at least tell me what we're doing here?" Pearl looks at Rose's hands unlocking the door worriedly, "Am I even allowed be here?"

 

"Of course! You're with me after all, right?" Rose smiles at her and opens the door, gesturing for Pearl to go in.

 

Pearl nods and steps in, keeping her head lowered. She'd heard things about the library and how wonderful it was when she was younger, but this was the first time she was seeing it at all. She’d never even seen pictures it and no one she knew was able to describe it to her. The glass floor was cold and so polished and clean, as though it hadn’t been stepped on for centuries, that she could see her reflection in it and the reflection of the night sky through the glass roof.

 

"It's been years since I last came here," Rose says, closing the door behind her, "Isn't it beautiful?"

 

Pearl’s eyes widen as she raises her head and take in the view of the infamous library, shocked at the sheer size of the place. From the relatively small door she didn't think the library was that big; after all, just how many ancient ruins and books about old Homeworld astronomy and astrology could be left since the Diamonds came into power? 

 

The domed building, located at the end of a series of old complicated, maze-like corridors, is made of clear glass and cloudy crystal walls to keep the interior of the library hidden. Crystal bookcases tower over them like spires, names, dates and symbols carved into them. The bookshelves are filled with slates, slabs and sheets of rock, glass and crystal, all from a time before gems used technology to document things.

 

"How are we supposed to find our way around?" Pearl asks, following behind Rose as she walks down some steps and makes her way towards a bookcase, "Is there a map I can pull up?"

 

"I told you I used to be friends with some astronomers," Rose turns around and winks at Pearl, "I used to spend a lot of time here with them, mapping out what galaxies and planets we've conquered, documenting constellations, before they moved the astronomy department closer to Blue Diamond's quarters. I doubt anyone's done any moving around, so it shouldn't be too hard to find what we're looking for!" 

 

"I see," Pearl says, closing her tablet, "Um... what exactly are we looking for, if you don't mind me asking?"

 

"You'll see."

 

Pearl nods, not pursuing it any further. She was still getting used to Rose's little spontaneous adventures and how mysterious she could be. It was a big change from the strict schedule she was used to when she was a technician and even when she was Larimar's assistant. The idea of just getting up and going wherever whenever she wanted was so alien to her and even though Rose obviously had a lot more freedom than her, she wasn't so sure  _ all  _ important gems sometimes just decided to leave work or a meeting to go to an ancient library for the day. 

 

As she follows her down aisle after aisle, Pearl glances at some of the shelves every now and then, amazed at how their ancestors recorded all their information. She couldn't imagine what it was like to be a pearl back then, having to hand-carve reports and timetables and messages into stone or crystal or glass. She wondered if pearls even existed back then, and if they did, did they have the same purpose as they do now? Maybe pearls being slaves was always just how it was, or maybe it was the Diamonds who put that practice in place? It was hard to imagine a time where pearls weren’t just servants, but she couldn’t really ask. Rose wasn’t  _ that  _ old and she didn’t want to risk getting crushed.

 

"Here we are!" says Rose, finally stopping at a bookcase with some symbols carved into the side, "All you've ever wanted to know about ancient Homeworld beliefs about space!"

 

"Ooh... thank you...?" Pearl says, giving Rose a confused look, "Am... I supposed to be taking notes?"

 

"If you want, but that's not really why I took you here, Pearl,” Rose giggles and continues, “You seemed interested in all the stuff I was telling you about space on the trip a while ago, so I thought maybe I'd take you here so you can learn some more interesting things about space, seeing as you like gem history as well. Things that you  _ definitely  _ wouldn't be able to find on the current archive system."

 

"So I'm allowed... hold them?" Pearl whispers, looking at the crystal slabs nervously, "What if I drop it? Or someone finds us? Or-"

 

"It's  _ fine _ , Pearl! I locked the door behind us and you're a sensible enough gem, right? Just be careful and it’ll be fine," Rose picks up a slab and hands it to her with a comforting smile on her face, "This one is written in ruins, like most of the others, but the drawings are nice to look at. That was my favourite thing to do when I was here, look at all the old art and sculptures."

 

Pearl carefully takes the slab and studies it, running her fingers over the ruins, tracing around the drawings of different sized circles with different designs etched onto them. She recognises the ruins;  when she was working for Larimar she found a file about them while sorting things and memorised them while Larimar was busy at a meeting, but she knew she wasn’t supposed to. Wouldn’t Rose get angry if she knew how to read them? Pearls weren’t exactly known for being scholars and she wasn’t supposed to look through Larimar’s folders like that.

 

“I wonder what half of these things say. Not even old Goldstone could  read some of these,” Rose says wistfully, running her hand over another, darker slab, “That’s probably why they destroyed most of them, the readable ones anyways… Though I doubt some primitive ideas about space and some basic drawings of planets would do any harm.”

 

“Well, this one talks about the moons and suns being goddesses, I think,” Pearl says absentmindedly, running her fingers across the ruins and muttering the translation of the last few lines under her breath, “I suppose maybe the more easily translatable ones said something similar, and this one seems to imply the goddesses should be worshiped and revered as they’re above gemkind.” 

 

Rose stares at Pearl and raises an eyebrow, “You can read those, Pearl?”

 

Pearl freezes and nearly drops the slab, but she tightens her grip on it and swallows, “Y-Yes, not that well though! I can just recognise a few words, I definitely wouldn’t be able to translate  _ all  _ the things here!” 

 

“Where did you learn those ruins? I haven’t met a gem who could read ruins that old since… I don’t even know,” Rose comes towards Pearl and looks at the slab, “It’s amazing really. And to think she didn’t want you…”

 

“Um, pardon? Who are you-” 

 

“It’s nothing,” Rose says quickly, waving her hand dismissively, “But honestly, how can you read these? Did they put ruins back on the syllabus?”

 

“No,” Pearl says quietly, “When I worked for Larimar, I was sorting through her files and I found a document in one of her folders about the ruins and how to read them so while she was away I… read it and memorised it… I swear I wasn’t going through her things without her permission! I was just-”

 

“It’s okay, Pearl! It’s really impressive that you were able to learn all that,” Rose takes down a thick glass sheet with the same ruins carved into it and holds it up, “Maybe you could translate some of the others for me? I’ve been curious about them since I found them a few centuries ago.”

 

“Of course!” Pearl puts the crystal slab back on the shelf and takes the glass sheet, feeling the ruins, “You won’t… tell anyone that I know about these, will you? Or how I found out about these ruins? I’m just a pearl, I really shouldn’t know about things like this.”

 

“I promise I won’t,” Rose squeezes Pearl’s shoulder and smiles, tapping her nose, “Our little secret. Now, did you figure out those ones yet?”

 

Pearl smiles back, “Yes, they seem to be talking about the idea of other gems, or maybe even a different species, living on other stars or planets and if we could live in harmony with them if we ever found them, but the little note here in the corner seems to be dismissing the idea of different species and more gems, I think. This little drawing is labelled as “other life”, but I can’t really make out what the drawing is of.”

 

“Here, let me see,” Rose says, looking at the sheet over Pearl’s shoulder, “It looks a bit like… like gems standing on other planets? It’s very worn away looking.” 

 

Pearl runs her hand over the drawing, feeling the almost faint carving sharp against her fingers, “It’s so strange to think that our ancestors thought there was nothing else out there. And that all our moons and suns were other, greater gems…”

 

“And now here we are, gems all over the universe, killing every new form of life we find just to create more of us,” Rose sighs, “But anyways, why don’t we look at a few more and then head back so we can finish that report?”

 

“Are you sure we’ll have time?” 

 

“I’m sure! And even if we’re a bit late I’m sure Sphalerite won’t mind if I hand it in just a few minutes late,” Rose grins at Pearl as she picks out another slate for Pearl to translate, “Don’t worry about it. How about this one?”

 

“Hmm… I don’t recognise these ruins but the drawings are really clear on this one,” Pearl says, squinted at the picture before handing the onyx slate to Rose, “It looks like gems gathered around something.”

 

Rose examines the slate, running a finger over the engravings, “I think it must have been some sort of worship ritual? Like how they used to do with the idols of the Diamonds.”

 

“Maybe that.. sculpture-like thing in the centre is one of their goddesses? It has a crescent moon carved on its dress,” Pearl laughs softly, “No wonder they destroyed most of these. I wonder why they kept these ones?”

 

“Well, there’s hundreds of thousands of things in this library, I doubt they have time to go through every single one of them and find gems to translate them all and if they did, I don’t think they’d really care enough,” Rose smiles at Pearl and lowers her voice, “Their minions aren’t as loyal as they’d like to think. But, uh, anyways! Why don’t we go to the ancient history section before we go? Maybe there’s some more things you can translate there?”

  
  
  



	4. 4 - very nearly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i lied. expect about 3 more chapters before this ends! sorry, i just always underestimate how much i'm going to write, and i'd like to update this fairly frequently, so shorter chapters more often is better than longer ones every few months, in my opinion at least. hope you enjoy!

"Isn't it so strange to think that most of the stars we see are dead?" Pearl says to Rose, not looking up from the screen before her, "It's just so amazing!"

 

"It's a little sad too, in my opinion anyways. I couldn't believe it when I first found out about it," Rose laughs, looking up at the twinkling night sky through her office window, "Are some of the planets dead too?" 

 

Pearl frowns and reads over the article on the screen again, "Hmm... it doesn't say here, but I don’t think so. Planets don’t give off any light, they just reflect it, so if one exploded it would burn out quickly enough, whereas a supernova can be bright enough to outshine galaxies and can last for much longer than an explosion of a planet! The only reason we see dead stars in the first place is because their light was bright enough to reach us, but because they’re millions and millions of light years away, their light only reaches us now, even though they could have died centuries ago. I don’t think a planet can reflect light bright enough to be visible from millions of light years away,” Pearl pauses and bits her lip, “I’m not talking too much, am I?

 

“No, no! Of course not, I was just thinking about something,” Rose says as she turns her chair away from the window and looks up at the ceiling, "What you’re saying really explains a lot. I’ve wondering for years why the sun B00052 orbited is still visible even though the whole planet was blown to pieces after it exploded." 

 

"O-Oh? Can you see it from here?" Pearl asks, lowering Rose's screen and peering out the window. 

 

"Well, if you look towards the big moon on the left, there's a little white dot in the middle of that square shaped constellation to the right of the moon. That's B00052’s sun. One of the first, more distant planets they colonised after the ‘you-know-what’," Rose mutters, lowering her voice. "I like to call it the Planet of Death though. Not just because they stripped it of what little life it had to build some new type of kindergarten, but because of the amount of gems that died testing the new warp technology and space ships. I don't know why she didn't drop the mission after the first failure, but anything to expand our empire, right?" 

 

Pearl nods, smiling nervously. Some of the things Rose liked to talk about with her were things that would get her crushed in seconds, but she never seemed scared when she'd just suddenly start questioning the Diamond Authority and criticising some of their actions. Talking about how much you hate your job and the actions of the Homeworld matriarch were just asking to be crushed, or at the very least bubbled for the next thousand years. It did make Pearl feel a little special that Rose trusted her enough to talk to her about the sorts of things, even if it did make her fear for both their lives.

 

"Well... thank you for letting me borrow your devices for research again," Pearl says quickly, "I really appreciate it." 

 

"It's no problem," Rose says, smiling at her, "I really enjoy listening to you talk about all that space and history stuff. You're a very intelligent gem, Pearl."

 

"Oh! Um, t-thank you," Pearl laughs, covering her face to hide her growing blsuh, "But all I really do is just repeat what I read! It's not like I was born knowing all this, I’m just a-”

 

“Don’t, Pearl,” Rose interrupts, wincing, “You actually understand all that technical science stuff, and you just  _ skim  _ over those articles! If I read them, I’d have to actually read them a few times before I got what any of it meant. Intelligence isn’t just knowing, it’s about understanding.”

 

But before Pearl can think of a reply, there’s a sharp knock at the door.

 

“Yes?” Rose calls, quickly rolling her chair back over to her desk as Pearl hands her screen back.

 

“This is  Sphalerite,” says the gem behind the door, “I’m here to collect the report about Y49356’s facet 8.”

 

“Oh, of course. Come in!”

 

The door opens and Pearl watches the tall, slender gem approach Rose’s desk. She stands before her with arms folded and a blank expression on her face, but she frowns when she sees Pearl staring.

 

“Defect,” she spits, glaring at Pearl with narrowed eyes, “Stop slouching and keep your eyes to yourself.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Pearl whispers, putting her shoulders back and bowing her head. She wondered how Sphalerite knew she was defective, seeing as she’d never brought it up before, but then she remembers that normal pearls are taught to always stand with perfect posture with their head bowed low. She sees Rose shake her head disapprovingly and tut, but she knows it’s just an act. Rose didn’t really care what way she stood and she never had.

 

“Let me just find it first,” Rose says,  looking back at her screen as she searches through her files, “It’s definitely  _ done _ , I just don’t remember what file name I gave it.”   
  


Sphalerite sighs irritably, tapping her foot, “Yellow Diamond needs that report  _ today _ , Rose Quartz.”

 

“I know and she’ll get it, let me just burn it onto a disk for you,” Rose opens a file and turns to Pearl, “Can you get me a disk, please?” 

 

“Yes,” she says quietly, keeping her head bowed as she hands Rose a disk from off of a nearby shelf.

 

“Thank you, Pearl,” Rose nods at her and takes the disk and slots it into the device attached to her screen, “It shouldn’t take  _ too  _ long, but this thing is getting old.” 

 

Sphalerite sighs again and rolls her eyes as she tosses her hair out of her face and glares at Rose. 

 

Rose smiles back at her sweetly, resting her head on her hands, “So, how are things, Sphalerite?”

 

She says nothing.

 

“How’s your new job?”

 

“You ask me that everything I come to collect something from you.”

 

“I know, I’m just trying to be friendly! You know, I’m still so surpr-”   
  


“The disk is ready, Rose Quartz,” Sphalerite interrupts, speaking through gritted teeth.

 

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t notice,” Rose giggles to herself and takes the disk out, handing it to Sphalerite, “Here you are. Don’t lose it! It’s the only disk I have right now. Oh, speaking of, you wouldn’t mind telling the front desk I’m low on some supplies, would you? Just while you’re here.”

 

Sphalerite stares back at her blankly and she grabs the disk and puts it into a case around her waist, “Thank you for your report, Rose Quartz. Yellow Diamond will be back to you by the end of the week.”

 

“Thank you! And don’t forget to close the door behind you!”

 

Sphalerite nods at her and walks out, slamming the door as she leaves. Rose waits until she hears her footsteps grow more distant before she lets out a sigh of relief. “Nothing brightens my day more than a visit from Sphalerite.”

 

Pearl titters and lets her shoulders drop again, “Was she always that, uh, unpleasant?”

 

“She used to be a bit more talkative and nicer to be around, but once someone gets moved up even a _bit_ , they change,” Rose slumps in her chair, “It’s not the first time I’ve seen it happen Anyway, I was wondering if _you’d_ be able to go down to the front desk and get me some more disks, seeing as Sphalerite didn’t seem too interested. I have a meeting scheduled with Pink Diamond in two days and I have _a lot_ of stuff to present to her.”

 

“Of course!” Pearl says, but before she walks away she hesitates, “Rose, can I just ask you something first?” 

 

“What is it?”

 

“Well… how did Sphalerite know that I was defective? She’s never brought it up before, so I was just wondering how she found out.”

 

Rose seems to wince at the question. “Well… you see, Pearl, when you’re in such a small building like this things tend to, um, get around? Maybe Chalcedony said some off-hand remark and she caught on,” Rose looks with her with her usual comforting smile, “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. She was probably just trying to wind you up or trying to make herself seem better than you, seeing as her new job gave her that awful sense of superiority all that court seems to have.”

 

Pearl nods, “It didn’t really bother me that much, I’m quite used to it by now. I just wanted to know how she knew. It’s not that obvious that I’m defective, is it?”

 

“Of course not!” Rose’s smile fades as she slumps down in her chair again, “And even if it was, there’s nothing wrong with that, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Pearl says, though she feels herself flush with guilt. Of  _ course  _ there was something wrong with being defective; if there wasn’t, defects wouldn’t be crushed without a second thought before they can even form. She know she was just lucky. Maybe her ancestors were right all along. Maybe there was some sort of goddess watching down on her and saving her from the usual fate of a defect. 

 

She leaves Rose’s office and walks down the hall to the stairs, head bowed and arms behind her back. As she passes by other gems, she wonders if they know she’s defective too and if they’re all silently laughing at her behind her back. She spends so much time in this perfect little bubble, just her and Rose, where she can do whatever she likes and act however she wants without being threatened with termination. Sometimes she forgets that outside their little bubble, everyone else hates her- that is ,until someone like Sphalerite comes along reminds her of everything that’s wrong with her and how everyone except Rose feels about her.

 

But Pearl was used to being insulted, teased, put down, and hated. After the first two centuries of her life, gems ran out of new things to try and hurt her with. It didn’t really hurt any more and “defect” was by far the nicest thing another gem had ever said to her. Even then, there was still part of her that still felt that pang and shame every time someone pointed it out, especially when she was used to how Rose treated her now. But knowing how much it hurt Rose to see other gems do that to her hurt her a lot more than some petty insult she’d heard a million times already.

 

Once she makes it to the bottom of the spiral staircase, she straightens up and clears her throat, walking towards Chalcedony’s desk with practised elegance.

 

“Excuse me, Chalcedony,” she says in her most quiet, pearl-like voice, “Rose Quartz is running low on office supplies, namely disks and memory sticks, she was wondering if you could send some up to her as soon as possible.”

 

“Of course,” Chalcedony says with her usual forced smile, “Did she give Sphalerite the report she was looking for? I didn’t see her leaving.”

 

“Yes, she received the report. When she left the office she went right so  I assume she had other business to attend to.”

 

“Oh, right,” Chalcedony turns around to face her computer again and waves pearl off, “You can leave.”

 

Pearl nods and bows before she turns around to leave again. She had her “perfect pearl” act perfected now, and even Rose said it was very convincing. Though Chalcedony didn’t seem to buy it, or maybe she was just condescending towards everyone.

 

Pearl walks back up to Rose’s office, stretching and shaking her arms out as she walks in.

 

“Is she going to send them up?” Rose asks, looking up from her screen.

 

“Yes, though she didn’t say when,” Pearl says, walking over to Rose’s desk and leaning against it, glancing at her screen, “Is there anything you need me to prepare for your meeting with Pink Diamond?”

 

“Oh, no. All this stuff is strictly classified and confidential. For now, at least. Her, the other Diamonds and myself are the only ones who are supposed to know about this.”

 

“New colony?”

 

Rose is quiet for a minute. “Yes, I suppose. But there’s more to it than that, to put it simply. I… can’t really tell you much more, sorry.”

 

“Oh, I see,” Pearl stares at Rose for a moment before getting up from the desk and walking towards some of Rose’s shelves to rearrange her things. She half-heartedly dusted some of Rose’s swords that she had on display, feeling a little hurt. It wasn’t like her to not tell her something, even if it was classified. Were they going to talk about her? Had Rose really just hated her this whole time and now she was arranging to have her crushed? Thousands of different ideas raced through her mind, none of them good.

 

But Rose had said she’d never lie to her. She was just overreacting. Maybe Rose was just afraid someone would listen in on her telling Pearl about the meeting and get Rose in trouble. Either way, Pearl still felt hurt. She was her confidant, she was the one she told everything to. This was the first time she was keeping things from her and it reallymade her worry. 

  
  
  
  



	5. 5 - drowned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a fun chapter to write! i certainly enjoyed it! it's quite long to make up for the wait, but i'm on break now so i'm hoping to wrap this fic up pretty soon! as always, i hope you enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments! thanks!

‘ _ I wonder what's taking them so long _ ,’ Pearl thinks to herself as she glances at the tall door to Pink Diamond's meeting room again. Meetings about colonisation usually took a while, but never as long as this. She'd been standing outside waiting for  _ hours _ now. The fact that she wasn't allowed attend the meeting with Rose only made time pass even slower. Usually she'd be able to entertain herself by tuning in to whatever was being discussed at the meeting and give her own input. Internally of course. She wouldn't make the mistake of saying things out loud during a meeting ever again, even with Rose around.

 

But now all she had to listen to was the soft murmur coming from behind the pink crystal walls of the meeting room and the occasional sound of Pink Diamond's quartz guards shifting around. While quartzes were well above pearls, Pearl couldn't help but be thankful she didn't have their job. Most quartz guards just spent their days standing around if they weren't fighting in battle. Nowadays, there wasn’t really a risk of rebels trying to assassinate one of the Diamonds. There wasn’t anything they had to guard their Diamonds  _ from _ . At least being a pearl offered some variety. And if you were lucky enough to be programmed right, you wouldn't have to deal with the feelings of worthlessness and shame that came with it. Maybe quartz guards were the same.

Eventually, after another few hours pass, the huge doors creak open. Pearl watches in awe as Pink Diamond herself, towering above her and the quartz guards, walks out, her pearl following behind her. She knew the Diamonds were big, but she never imagined that all the murals she saw were actually accurate in size. Pink Diamond's pearl only just barely reached her knees.

 

Pearl lowers her head when she sees the other pearl look at her with that same disapproving look all the other pearls used to give her. Was she that defective that someone could notice it at a glance? Or was it something to do with Rose? 

 

Once she hears the footsteps of the quartz guards following their Diamond grow distant, she raises her head and peers around the open doors of the meeting room. She sees Rose sitting at the end of a long, pink crystal table that takes up most of the room, her head buried in her hands.

 

"Rose?" she calls, looking around before she cautiously steps into the room. The meeting room has the same walls as the rest of Pink Diamond's domain, polished pink crystal, though several murals of what look like battles are carved and painted into them. One side of the room is taken up by a window, overlooking what must be the only piece of land in Homeworld not taken up by a kindergarten or factory. From what Pearl can see, it's just a bare piece of  land with some crystal statues and a wall surrounding it. 

 

"Oh, hello Pearl!" Rose quickly looks up and sits up straight in her chair, smiling, "How long have you been there?"

 

"Not too long, just until after Pink Diamond left. I'm sorry if I disturbed you," Pearl says, flushing as she walks down the room towards Rose, "Is everything alright?"

 

"Well..." Rose frowns and picks up her screen, staring at it for a moment, "It's just... nothing. I'm fine! The meeting was just a bit draining. I'm sure you must be tired from waiting around."

 

"I'm okay. The meeting was just a lot longer than all the other ones you've been to," Pearl says, holding her hands out to take Rose's screen for her.

 

"Oh, don't worry about that! I'll carry it," Rose forces a smile and tucks her screen under her arm, "But if you wouldn't mind, could you carry that box for me? Thank you! Sorry about the wait though, usually meetings about things like this would be spread out over a few meetings, but with Pink Diamond you have to cram all of this into one. If we split the meetings up, this colony wouldn't even be considered until the next millennium."

 

Pearl snorts, "Do you know Pink Diamond well?"

 

"Yes, I was her head guard for almost 6 centuries," Rose says, closing the doors of the room behind her as they walk out into the crystal corridor again, "I fought alongside her in many wars, mostly defending her. She used to be an excellent warrior before she retired from fighting on the frontline."

 

"Did you retire too?"

 

"No, I was just promoted. I'm still involved in the military, partially, but not fighting. I'm not really the best on the battlefield sometimes," Rose laughs sadly, "I do miss it. It's certainly a lot more exciting than sitting around in meetings all day."

 

Pearl nods, though she had no idea what it was like to be on the battlefield. For a gem like Rose it would be exciting, but for a pearl, it sounded like a nightmare. She'd be broken within seconds. But she was surprised to hear that Rose wasn't "the best on the battlefield sometimes". Quartz gems were built to be great warriors, practically unbreakable, programmed to be loyal soldiers who only want to fight. "What makes you think you weren't the best on the battlefield... if you don't mind me asking, of course?"

 

Rose is quiet, but eventually answers, "I suppose it was just my attitude. I'm a lot more... compassionate and empathic than other quartz soldiers. I can't bare to see other gems suffer, especially my friends. Usually I'm able to contain myself, but sometimes I just couldn't help running to shield other gems or heal them when I should have been defending my- I mean, Pink Diamond." 

 

"I see," Pearl says, looking at the murals of battles and colonies carved into the walls as they pass. Occasionally they pass a pillar with a stunning, intricately-detailed mural of Pink Diamond. The murals are decorated with broken gems and dusted with what looks like crushed pearl lustre-dust. It does make the murals look very beautiful, but it's unnerving. Is  _ that  _ what happened to all terminated gems? 

 

“Now, as a medic I  _ did  _ need to get emotional so I could heal broken gems- seeing as it’s my tears that heal. But some of the other things I did weren’t ‘appropriate’. I suppose I’m lucky Pink Diamond had such a soft spot for me or else I would have been terminated instead of being promoted,” Rose sighs irritably and her smile fades. “Things certainly do change though,” she says through gritted teeth.

 

Pearl doesn’t ask any more questions about it. Rose doesn’t usually get upset or annoyed, but when she does it’s hard to ignore. She follows behind Rose down more and more corridors, passing countless murals and gigantic doors. There seemed to be lots of rooms in Pink Diamond’s domain, but she wondered how many were actually used and by who. The place was clearly quite empty and devoid of life. It was so quiet that her and Rose’s footsteps seemed to echo for miles.  

 

“Wait,” Rose says, stopping suddenly and staring at one of the bigger murals Pearl had seen with a small grin. It was another battle scene, with Pink Diamond in the centre surrounded by several quartz gems, but there was one that stood out. “That’s me! The one in front of her.”

 

Pearl steps closer to the mural and looks to where Rose is pointing. She’s impossible to miss. Whoever carved the mural definitely paid close attention to her magnificent mane of hair and made sure to add detail to each individual curl. Instead of the pink-white dress with the diamond cut-out Pearl had always seen her in, the mural showed her dressed in the standard quartz warrior armour.

 

“Is that your weapon?” Pearl says in awe as she points to the gigantic sword Rose is holding in the mural.

 

“Oh no, the shield I’m holding is my weapon. Have I not shown it to you before?,” Rose reaches out and touches the carving delicately, “But this is such a gorgeous mural! I wonder who worked on this one? It’s hard to find ones like this these days, they’re nowhere near as detailed. It’s a shame really…”

 

“What gems usually created this like this?” Pearl asks, stepping back to get  a good look at the whole mural. “And no, you’ve never shown me your weapon before.” 

 

“Oh? Remind me to show you when we get back then! I’m very proud of it. I’m surprised it wasn’t the first thing I showed you!” Rose laughs and pats her gem gently, “I’ll use any excuse to show it off. As for who made this, I assume it was a sodalite. Or maybe an iolite? They shut down the Creative Arts Court centuries ago and I can’t really remember what gems used to be on it.”

 

“I see… But I thought you can only summon your weapon in battle?” 

 

“That’s when you’re  _ supposed  _ to do it. But there’s nothing stopping me from doing it whenever I want,” says Rose with a wink.

 

Pearl winks back and giggles. 

 

“Anyway, we really do need to get going before we get kicked out,” Rose adds teasingly, giving Pearl a serious look, before she laughs too, “I’m joking! Let’s get going.”

 

They both take one last look at the mural before they leave. The walk to the exit is long, but at least Rose is in a better mood than before, so she tells Pearl some more stories about the battles she and Pink Diamond fought together. Pearl had heard most of them before, but Rose never really went into detail about  _ who  _ she fought with. She especially never mentioned Pink Diamond before. The more Rose talks about battles and her shield the more excited Pearl gets about seeing it. She’d never seen a gem weapon being summoned before. She wasn’t able to summon hers, if she had one of course. They were always thought that only warrior gems were allowed to have and summon their gem weapons. Pearls weren’t  _ made  _ for fighting, so she couldn’t see why they’d even bother letting them have weapons in the first place. 

 

Rose seems excited about it too. “It’s been decades since I last summoned my shield,” she tells Pearl as they walk into her office and she shuts the door behind them. “There’s just something about it that makes me feel so... alive! I think it’s because it brings back memories of the excitement of being on the battlefield?”

 

“Maybe,” Pearl says as she sets down Rose’s thing on her desk. “Do you show it to many gems?”

 

“Anyone who’s interested. It’s hard to find gems who have the time to just sit down and talk about the wars and battles. Most are too young, but if they do remember, they aren’t interested in talking about it,” says Rose with a sigh. “The last time I summoned it was when me and a Smokey Quartz were talking about this battle I hadn’t even fought in and she showed me her whip. She designed the base after some monument she saw on the planet. It was quite an interesting conversation.”

 

“You can change how your weapon looks?”

 

“Yes! Though it takes a lot of practice. Here, let me show you mine now,” Rose says, grinning as she positions her hand over her gem and closes her eyes. Her gem starts glow and within seconds a pink shield with a diamond in the centre materializes in her hand. 

 

Pearl stares at the shield, her eyes wide.

 

“Mine is quite simple in terms of design,” Rose holds her shield up proudly. “If I was fighting, I’d usually have whatever emblem we were using on it. When I first summoned it it wasn’t even half the size it is now though.”

 

“It’s beautiful, Rose,” Pearl whispers.

 

“Thank you! Would you like to hold it?”

 

“M-Me?” Pearl stammers. “Would I even be able to?!”

 

“Of course! Why wouldn’t you?” Rose gives her an odd look, “Go ahead!”

 

Pearl stares at the shield for a moment, but then she takes it from Rose’s hand very cautiously, letting it rest flat on her palms. It’s cold and a lot heavier than it looks but there’s something about it that feels so magical. She can’t get her head around how it just...  _ appeared _ . She knew it was basic gem magic, but it still confused her. “So… how do you summon it?” Pearl asks as she hand the shield back to Rose.

 

“There isn’t an easy answer to that,” says Rose as the shield fades away into nothing in her hands as fast as it came into existence. “Why don’t we sit down and I’ll try to explain it?”

 

Pearl nods and follows Rose over to her desk, leaning against it as Rose sits down beside her. 

 

“Now, every gem has a different way of summoning theirs. The way they teach us is so rigid and it doesn’t work for everyone, which is why most of us have to figure out by ourselves,” Rose explains. “How did they teach you how to do it?”

 

Pearl blushes, “Well… they didn’t. I am... just a  _ pearl _ . Pearls can’t summon weapons so they never even brought it up, let alone teach us about it.”

 

“Pearls can’t summon weapons?” Rose frowns and shakes her head, “That’s what they’re teaching you? Things haven’t gotten worse than I thought...”

 

Pearl cocks her head to the side in confusion. Was Rose trying to imply they  _ could _ ? “Sorry, but I don’t understand… Why would a pearl need to summon a weapon?” she asks. “We’re just servants or technicians, we’re useless fighters. What’s the point in giving us weapons if we can’t even fight?”

 

“Don’t,” Rose whispers bitterly as she covers her face with her hands. Pearl flinches and wants to kick herself for talking too much or saying something wrong but before she can apologise, Rose looks up at her with tears in her eyes.

 

“Sorry,” she says, wiping her eyes and laughing softly, “I told you I can get a bit _ too _ emotional. I just can’t believe they’re teaching you these…  _ lies _ . They’re making you believe all these awful things about yourself. Of course you can summon a weapon, Pearl. You could be the best warrior in an army if you wanted! I had no idea things changed this much...”

 

“I-I don’t understand why I need to know how to summon my weapon though,” Pearl says, looking at the floor, “I’m never going to fight in a battle. I’m always going to just be a pearl.”

 

“But you’re still a gem,” says Rose firmly, looking Pearl in the eye, “Despite what they told you. You have every right to know about, and to be able to use  _ all _ your gem abilities.” 

 

Pearl just nods in response.

 

“Only if you want to, of course,” Rose adds, patting Pearl’s hand gently. “Do you want to?”   
  


“Yes, but it’s just…” Pearl stares down at Rose’s hand over hers and smiles weakly, “I’m not just a pearl, I’m also a… a defect. Even if a pearl _ can _ summon her weapon,  _ I _ probably can’t. I can’t really do anything right.”

 

“Oh, Pearl…” Rose squeezes her hand gently, running her thumb over her knuckles. “You can  _ try _ . It doesn’t matter that you’re…’ defective’. That hasn’t stopped you from being good at so many other things.”

 

Pearl blushes and looks away again, “Thank you. I will try but I’m just not that confident.”

 

“It’s alright. I’ll explain how I learned how to do it and you can try that, okay? Don’t get too disappointed if it doesn’t work out though. It’s different for every gem.”

 

“I understand,” Pearl says, curling her hand into a fist once Rose takes hers away, missing the warmth.

 

“Alright,” Rose turns her chair towards the large window behind her and points towards the sky. “The first planet I was sent to was somewhere over near the little moon. It was a strange planet, but it had water. We needed that water to bring back over here, but the planet was populated by organic life. It was a very small planet, so it was easy enough for us to conquer. The beings that were on it weren’t developed at all so they were easily… defeated. Now, because the planet had water, it also had plant life. You’ve read about plants before, haven’t you?”

 

Pearl nods. There wasn’t that much written material about plant life in the archive system but Pearl had read everything she was able to find after Rose brought them up a few years ago. Plants intrigued her, even if she didn’t really understand them.

 

“There was a gorgeous tree on the planet, near where I had to guard one of the lakes. It was very small though, it only came up to my knees. It had these beautiful white flowers on it that shed their petals when the wind blew and the petals would be blown all around the tree and slowly float to the ground. I remember just staying there for hours while I was on guard watching the petals fly around. They were so graceful and sometimes, they’d circle around each other like they were dancing.”

 

“Like a fusion dance?” asks Pearl, trying to picture the scene in her head.

 

“I suppose, but they didn’t dance for a particular reason. They just...  _ were _ . I had just fought my first real battle and I was trying hard to summon my weapon so I’d be on par with the rest of our army. I was really struggling with it. Back then, they told us it would just come to us when we needed it to, but I couldn’t figure out when that time would come,” Rose pauses and sighs, “Eventually, all the flowers on the tree died, so there was nothing for me to watch while I was on guard duty. I hated being a guard and it was the only thing that helped me get through my shift without wanting to punch the jasper I had to work with in the face.

 

“I know, it probably sounds stupid. But there was something about organic life that just made me so… happy! It was so magical and different from what I was used to. However, most of the life on the planet was slowly dying as we took more and more of the water away. I was expecting that tree to die too, which made me quite sad. I knew I’d never get to see something as beautiful as that again, seeing as plant life is so rare.

 

“One day, I came on duty and it was in full bloom again, when it shouldn’t have been at all! The whole planet was stripped of life and water, but there it was… alive and just as beautiful as before. I was so amazed and happy and for some reason, I noticed my gem starting to glow when I knelt beside it. I felt so light and airy and suddenly, this circular shape started to form from my gem!”

 

“Your shield?”asks Pearl. While it did seem odd to her that being happy about some tree helped Rose summon her weapon, it was so typical of Rose. It made Pearl smile. Though, she was a lot more interested in how these petals “danced”. How could something that wasn’t alive dance?

 

“That’s right!” Rose says with a dreamy look on her face, “My very own gem weapon appeared right in front of me and I finally felt like I was an actual soldier. I wanted to run off and tell everyone, but I didn’t want them to ask  _ how  _ I managed to summon it. ‘A tree’ didn’t seem like a very exciting or quartz-like story, so I kept it to myself. No one noticed or asked any questions when I took it out on the battlefield, thankfully.”

 

“So… when you want to summon your shield, you think about that tree?”

 

Rose laughs, “I did for a while! I know, it sounds pathetic, but it worked. Eventually, I figured out that it was thinking about things I loved and things that meant a lot to me that helped me summon it. Especially if that thing was in danger.” 

 

“I see,” says Pearl, trying to make sense of it in her head. She tried to think about what she loved and what meant a lot to her. She liked space and history and she thought about them a lot, but her gem didn’t glow when she did. She also thought about Rose a lot. Rose certainly meant a whole lot to her, but thinking about her didn’t make her weapon appear either. It didn’t make sense to her at all. “What did you think about when you summoned your shield a few minutes ago?”

 

“Oh, well, it’s second nature to me now. At this point I  can just will it into existence,” Rose looks up at her and smiles, “ _ But  _  there are some things that mean a lot to me that I think about to help me out a bit. Certain gems, places, memories, it really depends.”

 

“I’m sorry but... I don’t qute understand,” Pearl admits, blushing more and staring down at her feet. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get it. Rose’s explanation was so vague and abstract and she couldn’t figure it out no matter how many times she thought about it. 

 

“It’s fine, Pearl,” Rose assures her. “That’s my own personal way of doing it. Like I said, we’re all different. At least now you know you  _ can  _ summon your weapons so you can think about ways that might work for you!”

 

Pearl nods, “I definitely will… Is there anyway I could read more about it?”

 

“I assume there is! I can let you borrow my screen to look for some while I go upstairs to call Rhodochrosite. I was supposed to call her earlier but it completely slipped my mind until now. But do try and figure it out for yourself, okay?” 

 

“I will,” Pearl says as she steps away from Rose’s desk and looks out at the night sky towards the planet Rose was pointing at. “Thank you, by the way.”

 

“My pleasure! And don’t be afraid to ask me about some of the other gem abilities they didn’t teach you about, alright?” Rose adds as she walks towards the door, “My screen is on my desk. I’ll be back within the hour, and if anyone comes looking for me I’m in Unakite’s office!”

 

“Alright, thank you,” says Pearl as she picks up Rose’s screen. “See you in a while!”

 

Rose winks and waves at her and then leaves, closing the door behind her. Pearl smiles to herself and then types in the passcode to Rose’s screen, leaning against the window. There weren’t many articles in the archive system about weapon summoning, which did disappoint her a bit, but she could understand why. The articles she could find were just as vague as Rose’s explanations and there seemed to be nothing that tried to make sense of the magic behind it or give a more straightforward explanation. It looked like she’d just have to come up with her own way, which only discouraged her more. 

 

She was a  _ pearl _ . A defective one, no less. She couldn’t think up things like this on her own. She needed someone to tell her what to do and exactly how to do it. Maybe that’s why they didn’t bother teaching them about it? Why would they bother teaching something that was personal and unique to each gem to pearls? She just couldn’t understand why Rose had so much faith in her.

  
  
  
  



	6. 6 - the shangri-la hotel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the starving artist's(writer's) plight. sorry for disappearing, and the short chapter, just wanted to get something out. this will be finished by november (thank u nanowrimo) i promise. there's just a big sentimental value attached to this shitty piece of work that makes me want to keep on writing it forever. hope you enjoy, also, creative chapter titles!

  

Sitting at Rose’s desk, Pearl’s eyes scan over yet another sparse article about plant life. Since Rose told her the story of how she first summoned her shield, Pearl had been reading every article and report in the archive about “trees”, “petals” and “leaves”. There wasn’t much, most of the articles focused on how the quality of the soil on planets with plant life benefitted kindergartens and quartz production.There wasn’t a single thing about trees with beautiful petals that danced or the colourful, delicate flowers Rose sometimes talked about.  
  


Pearl sighs and sets down Rose’s screen, swivelling around to face the window. The sky is clear, its stars and planets twinkling mesmerically. She gazes up at the sky, focusing on the planet Rose said she first summoned her weapon on. She wonders what it’s like now. It must be completely drained of all its resources at this point, a barren wasteland of crumbling walls and broken injectors planted into the ground. Though she never saw what the planet was like before, it still made her sad that all the things Rose described were most likely destroyed now. She would probably never get the chance to see flowers and trees for herself at this rate.

 

There’s a lot of stuff she knows she’ll never get the chance to experience, even if serving Rose gives her more liberty and independence than other pearls. Not even something as simple as being able to experience summoning a weapon and feeling like an adequate gem for once. No matter how much Rose told her otherwise, nothing could change the fact that she was just another common pearl, even if she read and memorised every article in the database.

 

Pearl swivels back around and folds her arms on the desk, resting her head on them. Perhaps it was time to give up on trying to summon a weapon, even though it would disappoint Rose. All the work she was doing amounting to nothing wasn’t exactly doing wonders for her already lackluster confidence.

 

There’s suddenly a knock at the door and Pearl quickly jumps to her feet but relaxes when she sees Rose walk in.

 

“Sorry, long meeting. Again. Any luck?” Rose asks as she steps into the office, closing the door behind her.

 

“No,” says Pearl, slumping in her chair. “I’ve tried your method, the ones in the archives. I’ve read and reread everything about weapons and plants in the database. I’ve even tried making stuff up. Nothing seems to work.”

 

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Pearl,” Rose says, walking over to her and patting her shoulder. She looks out her office window with a wistful smile before turning to Pearl again. “Like I said, every gem is different when it comes to weapons and weapon-summoning. I’m sure you’ll figure it out someday.”

 

“Well, maybe I’m just not _made_ for this sort of thing,” Pearl sighs, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. She’s almost certain Rose is wrong about pearls being able to summon weapons. They most likely programmed it out of their gems and Rose just never knew about it. She really can’t see why they’d bother giving a servant something they wouldn’t even be able to use in a real life situation. Even a smaller quartz can crush a pearl with their bare hands, armed or not.

 

“Well, just because you can’t summon a weapon _yet_ doesn’t mean you can’t _wield_ one,” Rose adds with a grin. Pearl turns to give her quizzical look.

 

“I could always teach you how to swordfight for the time being. That’s what most of us used on the battlefields anyway. Not every gem’s weapon is what you would call ‘useful’.”

 

“Are you allowed teach me?”

 

“Of course not!” Rose exclaims with a laugh. “But it can be our little secret. A bit like how I’m not supposed to give you my screen or let you sit down.”

 

Pearl chuckles too. She never really understood why, but Rose just seems to love bending the rules. Especially when it came to her. But teaching her how to swordfight was a different story. How were they supposed to swordfight in her cramped office?

 

“Speaking of,” Rose continues, taking Pearl’s screen out from under her arm and placing it on the desk. “I had a friend ‘fix it up’ for you.”

 

“Was there something wrong with it?” questions Pearl as she takes her screen.

 

“Not exactly, but I did notice the database was a bit… lacking?” Rose smirks down at her and Pearl grins back.

 

“You really didn’t have to,” she says. “I don’t mind using your screen at all.”

 

“Well it’s nice to be able to research things whenever you want, right? And I’ll be needing to have my screen with me at the next few meetings too. I wouldn’t want to leave you here with nothing to do while I’m gone.”

 

“What have all these meetings been about?” Pearl asks as she opens her screen and types some terms into the database search. “You haven’t had meetings this long for decades now.”

 

“Oh, you know,” Rose babbles. “Just boring colonisation stuff. I can barely stay awake at most of them. It’s hard to not zone out when they get the most boring, uninspired gems to lead the meeting. Have you ever noticed that Black Obsidians are incapable of having any emotion in their voice?”

 

Pearl giggles and looks up from her screen with a smile. “I think all Obsidians are like that. Do you remember that Blue Obsidian at kindergarten P0137?”

 

“How could I forget,” Rose sniggers.

 

“It must be a pretty important colony if you’re doing this much work on it. Where will it be located?”

 

Rose pauses for a moment, before letting out a nervous chuckle. “I’m honestly not really sure of its exact location. It’s in one of the bigger solar systems just on the border of Crystal System 14 I think.”

 

“Is it in the Hydra Supercluster?” Pearl remembers the exact meeting they talked about that colony in. It was the meeting she met Rose at.

 

“... How did you know that?” Rose asks, a look of shock spread across her face.

 

“It was the colony they were talking about at the meeting we first saw each other,” Pearl reminds her.

 

“Ooh, yes, of course! That’s a bit ironic isn’t it?”

 

“How so?” Pearl asks, cocking her head to the side.

 

“I mean… um, it’s weird to think it’s been that long, isn’t it?” says Rose, shifting her gaze to the window again. “Anyways, enough of that boring stuff. How about we get started on sword fighting?”

 

It takes a moment for Pearl to soften her confused glare, but she happily agrees, even if she is a bit apprehensive. “But where am I supposed to get a sword?”

 

Rose grins as she points to her gem before it glows and she pulls a long, rose-coloured sword out from it. It’s very intricately designed; a pale pink diamond carved into the shiny grip with carvings going up the blade. “It’s been awhile since I’ve even seen this one,” Rose whispers, looking at her own sword in amazement. “I’ll find you one now.”

 

Her gem glows again and she pulls out another sword, a much more plain one this time. “I picked this one up on a battlefield I fought one when I was still new to the military. I think it should do you for now,” Rose says, handing the sword to Pearl.

 

“Thank you,” says Pearl, her voice soft as she looks down at the sword in awe. She carefully runs her fingers over the steel blade, tracing the indent on the fuller with her fingertips. This is the first time she’d seen a sword, or any weapon for that matter this close, let alone _hold_ one. “So where should we start?”

 

“Alright, everything begins with your stance,” Rose explains as she sets her sword down and walks to stand behind Pearl, gently holding her waist as she guides her into the right position. “You have to make sure you keep your stance wide with your body lowered.”

 

Pearl nods and adjusts her position slowly. Something about Rose’s touch made her chest flutter and drowned out that horrible feeling she got when she and Rose did something she knew they shouldn’t be doing. She could have happily stayed there all her life, with Rose. With Rose gone to meetings almost every day now, it’s the little moments like this she cherishes. She savours every little conversation they have between meetings, but it was hand-holds or hair-ruffles that stuck in her mind and made her feel like they were the only two gems on Homeworld. Even as Rose moves her hands away to demonstrate how to hold the sword properly, Pearl still feels their softness and warmth around her waist and smiles.

 


End file.
